Being Fully Present

I was watching a video where a successful businessman was being interviewed, and he was asked for his advice to anyone building a business.

What he said struck me, because it is something that it took me many years to learn.

The general gist of what he said was “When you are with family, be with your family. When you are working be at work. Some of the biggest regrets of highly successful people was what they lost along the way.”

We are told that in business, we need to work our butts off to build it at first, which I understood as working long hours, neglecting my loved ones, taking calls on personal time, meeting clients whenever they needed me to and so on and so on. Eventually, once you have built your business, you can set the boundaries around your work hours and not work as much. 

It might not be as easy as you think.

Have you ever been out for dinner with someone important in your life and are having a wonderful time when your phone buzzes? You look down and see it is a text from a realtor that needs you to call them about a client.

Maybe this dialogue starts going through your head: “I should really respond. It might be important. If I don't then maybe they will stop sending me clients. I bet they have another broker that will answer their texts at 9pm. My dinner date will understand if I just step away to take this. Should I? Yes I should.”

You apologise to your date and excuse yourself from the table. “It will be quick. I will be right back”. 

This might be the first time this has happened and your companion, while disappointed, tells you it is no problem and you go make your call that ends up taking 15 minutes or more. While your companion forgives it this time, when it happens again and again they may not be so understanding.

Here is how that dinner date could have went. Your phone is in your pocket or your purse and is on silent. When the realtor texts you, you don't hear it so you don't answer it. You continue your date and have a lovely evening. No interruptions and your are fully present and engaged with the person sitting across from you. 

You respond to the realtor the following morning.  As you are fully present in the conversation with your realtor, you are able to provide better service to them and their client.

The first time I did this it was absolutely terrifying, and I was 15 years into my brokering business before took this action. I had built my business on being available pretty well anytime-unless I was sleeping. I neglected my partner, my son and my friends. I would be with them physically, but mentally I was attached to my phone. 

One day I realised that I needed to nurture my relationships outside of my business or I was going to lose them.

After the first few times it got easier, and you know what? Once I set the boundaries and stuck with them, people respected them! 

Now, when I am at work I am fully present at work and my family respects that. When I am with my family I am fully present with my family and my clients and business partners respect that. 

My challenge to you is this: the next time you are with someone important to you, be there physically, emotionally and mentally. Put the phone away and put it on silent. The person you are with will feel that you are fully with them. It will not only make them feel amazing but it will feed your soul.

Trust me on this one. You've got this!

Renee