Is your lens distorted?

This year my son, who is almost 14, joined a AA baseball team. This is the first year he has played ball at this level, plus he doesn't know any of the kids on the team and is the only player from out of town.

He is used to being the new kid. Over the years there has been many instances where he has been in social situations where he knew no one and they all knew each other. It's a pretty intimidating situation to be in for an adult let alone a kid.

On the evening for the first batting practice, my son was beyond nervous. He places a lot of pressure on himself and combined with a new situation, a new more competitive level of baseball and a brand new team, his stress level was at an all time high.

He began to get in his head and the lens that he saw the situation through began to distort. A player would laugh and he thought they were laughing at him. He missed the ball on his first couple of swings and started to think he didn't belong, that he wasn't good enough. He believed the coach thought he sucked. On and on it went and he began to break down emotionally which in turn affected his game. 

On the way home him and I texted each other (he was with his Dad). His first text was, “I'm the worst on the team” and “I am not a AA player”. The texts went on and it broke my heart. 

After quite a lot of back and forth we got to the root of the issue, which is one that my son has struggled with and I think most athletes struggle with-Mindset. This wasn't an issue of skill. He is a good ball player. He just struggles believing it combined with placing ridiculously high expectations on himself.

Here is what I told him: “I would like you to tell yourself that even though you are nervous you are going to focus on playing your game and let go of comparing yourself to others. Let the pressure go of being the best player on the team. It's ok if you don't hit every ball. If you miss you will get ready for the next one”. He agreed to try and do this.

Now let's shift this to business. 

What lens are you looking through when you are nervous about a sales meeting or a new client? What lens are you looking through when you lose a lead or a client? What are you telling yourself?

How can you clear the distortion on the lens and see the situation more clearly? How can you get out of your head?

Start to pay attention to the cues that you are starting to slip into the pattern of distorting the truth so that you can reset, What is your reset button? What can you tell yourself to shift your mindset?

Do you have someone that you can reach out to when you are feeling this way? You don't have to do this alone. Who do you have in your life that you feel safe expressing yourself with that will listen and not try to fix or to judge?

I am happy to say that Thursday came along and my son had a great practice! He texted me after with this simple note: “ It went a lot better today! I was out of my head mostly and I actually hit the ball!”

Let go of the misses. Let go of the ‘what if’s". Focus on what is. 

You've got this!

RENEE